The trunk banged shut with a resounding boom as he snatched his fingers back as if the lid had suddenly transformed into burning poison ivy. Spinning around, he kicked the candle with his foot, causing it to go rolling and guttering across the floor. In the inconstant light from the traveling candle, he could see an inky figure standing near the overturned chair with its hands on its hips.
 
So, this is another passage from Miles from Manistique close to the passage from the last post. Let’s dissect it a bit.

“The trunk banged shut with a resounding boom as he snatched his fingers back”: Not too bad, though, the “resounding boom” might be a little much. The banging lid certainly made a loud noise, and in this creepy setting it may have sounded louder than it really was, but still, a “resounding boom” is more the work of a rocket than a trunk.

“as if the lid had suddenly transformed into burning poison ivy.”: First of all, there are too many as’s in this sentence. Secondly, the poison ivy being on fire is also a bit too much. I think this sentence would’ve worked better if the trunk had suddenly caught fire OR been transformed into poison ivy.

“Spinning around, he kicked the candle with his foot, causing it to go rolling and guttering across the floor.”: I don’t mind this part. I actually really like the word guttering and it is something that only a candle does. But on second examination, what would he have kicked the candle with if not his foot?

“In the inconstant light from the traveling candle, he could see an inky figure standing near the overturned chair with its hands on its hips.”: Traveling is not the right word here. The candle doesn’t have an itinerary or a passport. It’s difficult because we’ve already sent the candle rolling, and probably don’t want to reuse that word, but what’s another word for rolling? The candle could be spiraling, spinning, turning, revolving, or rotating. I’m kinda partial to spiraling, but even better would be to cut out the clarification that the “inconstant light” is coming from the candle. The reader doesn’t need it. If we know that the only light is from the candle and that the candle has been kicked, then it follows that the light is now inconstant. The next problem is the “he could see.” It’s narrating senses which is generally a no-no. Previously discussed is the inconstant light of the candle, so if we simply said there was an inky figure, the reader can gather that the POV character saw them without having to say it.

The trunk slammed shut with a bang as he snatched his fingers back like the lid had suddenly transformed into poison ivy. Spinning around, he kicked the candle, causing it to go rolling and guttering across the floor. In the inconstant light, there was an inky figure standing near the overturned chair with its hands on its hips.
 
There, that’s better.

Keep Writing and Edit On.
I Write, I Edit, I Write Again. Witness!
We're Making Better Words, All of Them, Better Words.
I Write to Burn Off the Crazy.
A Good Day Writing is a Day Writing.
It Puts the Words on the Page or it Gets the Hose Again.
Just keep writing...just keep writing...writing, writing, writing!
Writing is Magic.
The First Rule of Write Club is You Talk About Write Club.
If You Aren't Writing, You Aren't a Writer

"Jill cocked her head to the side. Peter struggled to keep the innocuous smile on his face. But as the silence yawned and seconds marched by into the irrevocable past, Peter began to sweat. Maybe he should have gone with the whole truth. After all, he had good intentions, and wanted to protect Genevieve and Jill if he could, if they would let him. Unfortunately, if Jill didn’t buy his lie now, it was unlikely that she would believe the truth afterwards." ~Excerpt from Miles From Manistique

The bold sentence above is one of my favorite sentences that I've written. I love the idea of time marching by, leaving the characters behind. I also love the turn of phrase "irrevocable past," because it is so true. We cannot change the past (unless we're playing with spells and/or time travel).

This sentence didn't start out so awesome though. There was talk of whether time should be marching into the future or the past ("time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future" - thank you Steve Miller Band). There was talk of whether the past was irretrievable or irrevocable. Also, I'm not sure whether the silence was always yawning or if it stretched in the beginning.

Just wanted to share.

Keep Writing and Edit On.
I Write, I Edit, I Write Again. Witness!
We're Making Better Words, All of Them, Better Words.
I Write to Burn Off the Crazy.
A Good Day Writing is a Day Writing.
It Puts the Words on the Page or it Gets the Hose Again.
Just keep writing...just keep writing...writing, writing, writing!
Writing is Magic.
The First Rule of Write Club is You Talk About Write Club.
If You Aren't Writing, You Aren't a Writer

...And maybe you do too. So there comes a point where you as a writer have to decide that you're ready for professional help, and I don't just mean seeking out and agent or publisher. What I mean is professional help with your writing and editing. Yes, you might have been really lucky in the past to rope your friends or family members into giving your work a read-over and pointing out the glaring typos, but to progress as a writer, that's not enough. How do I know this? Well, I recently hired a professional editor to take a look at my latest work and let me tell you, it was worth every penny. A professional editor usually has two main attributes that most friends and family members are lacking: brutal honesty and experience.

That being said, professional editing services are not free, so you probably want to make sure that you have a completed work that is as polished as you can get it before you pay money for someone else to have a look. It would be a real bummer to shell out a few hundred dollars to get half a novel edited and never finish it! Anyways, since this will be my fifth novel, I decided it was time.

My editor is Ava Jae and she is a YA author as well as a free-lance editor. She offers many different editing choices from help on query letters to full manuscript detailed critiques at reasonable rates. She also hosts a very helpful writer's blog/vlog called Writability. I can highly recommend her services. Now, back to work! :)

Keep Writing and Edit On.
I Write, I Edit, I Write Again. Witness!
We're Making Better Words, All of Them, Better Words.
I Write to Burn Off the Crazy.
A Good Day Writing is a Day Writing.
It Puts the Words on the Page or it Gets the Hose Again.
Just keep writing...just keep writing...writing, writing, writing!

The struggles of the past few days have been patience and perseverance. I know that many authors have experienced a similar struggle with their work. When you finish the first draft of a story or novel, there is an initial feeling of accomplishment and relief. You have a completed work, you are AMAZING! But then comes that first round of edits, and if you are like me, sometimes you'd rather throw the whole thing out and start over.

Editing and polishing a novel is hard work and takes time, and their is no way around it. As I've said many times before, I am a person who hates when things linger. I like closure. I like tasks that I can finish all in one sitting. Editing is a ongoing process that you cannot just speed and muscle through, and it's painful for me. But this is an even more important step than the actual writing. Editing is what separates writers from authors.

It is so tempting to send a manuscript off to an agent or a publisher before it's ready, and after my latest blogs on pitching and pitch parties, I find that I've gotten ahead of myself and where my novel actually is in the process. It's a marathon not a sprint, and today I've had to remind myself that I'm in it for the long haul. 

Keep Writing and Edit On.
I Write, I Edit, I Write Again. Witness!
We're Making Better Words, All of Them, Better Words.
I Write to Burn Off the Crazy.
A Good Day Writing is a Day Writing.
It Puts the Words on the Page or it Gets the Hose Again.
Just Keep Writing, Just Keep Writing; Writing, Writing, Writing...

But Jen, don't you mean "The Love, Hate of Editing?" No I do not. Let's face it. Editing is a chore. It's the "Oh you thought you were done with that novel did you?" bite in the butt that comes after the heady joy of finishing the writing of a book or other piece of writing. It is when you return to what you've just finished celebrating about finishing and find that you hate every single word of it (okay, maybe that's just me).

In any case, tragically it is a necessary evil that you should not forgo or skimp on in any way. Publishers can smell an unedited story from a mile away, and if you think that you can do all of the editing yourself, then you've got another think coming. The human brain is a magnificent creation, but sometimes it does things a little too well. You won't believe all the mistakes, repetitions, inconsistencies, etc. that you will miss in your own writing because your brain knows how it is supposed to be.

And if you think that one round of editing will catch everything, or at least enough to make your story presentable, you are just plain wrong. After about five rounds of edits, I still found a mistake in one of my short stories, so imagine how many I missed in my novel.

Now there is a sad fact that professional editors and copy editors are not cheap or free, and I am particularly lucky to be married to my editor, but don't despair. While a writer friend or contact may not have the time to edit your entire 50,000-100,000 word novel, maybe you can work out a system to edit each others work on a regular basis.

What about the love? Well, here's what I have to say about that: love the fact that editing makes your writing better.

Bottom line: you may hate editing, but you'll hate it more if you never get that big advance from Tor or if your book gets published and someone points out a mistake to you (trust me).

Keep Writing and Edit On
I Write, I Edit, I Write Again. Witness!
Were making better words, all of them, better words...